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What do masturbation and Billiards have in common?

Q: What do Billiards and masturbation have in common?

A: it's all about the stroke!

Luis Suarez

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Jokes One Liners Swimming and Diving Jokes

Listed below is a collection of jokes one liners swimming and diving sports jokes. For a good laugh read some of our jokes one liners swimming and diving sport jokes now and send them to your friends.

  Stranded Alone
A man is stranded on a deserted island, all alone for ten years. One day a gorgeous blonde woman wearing a wet suit and scuba suit arrives at the island. She comes up to the chap and she says, "How long has it been since you had a cigarette?" "Ten years!" he answers. She reaches over, unzips the waterproof pocket on her left sleeve and pulls out a pack of fresh cigarettes. He takes one, lights it, takes a long drag and says, "Man, oh man! Is that good!" Then she asks, "How long has it been since you had a whisky?" He replies, "Ten years!" She reaches over, unzips her waterproof pocket on the right, pulls out a bottle of malt whisky and gives it to him. He takes a long swallow and says, "Wow, that is fantastic!" Then she starts unzipping this long zipper that runs down the front of her wet suit and she says to him, "And how long has it been since you had some real fun?" And the man replies, "My God! Don't tell me you've got golf clubs in there!"
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Funny Pool Sign
Welcome to Our OOL "Notice there is no 'P' in it - let's keep it that way!"
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Warning Dont Pee
Funny sign warning people not to pee in the pool.
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Born to create drama
A swimmer about to enter the womans bathroom.
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  Make me feel like a woman?
A dive boat runs into a terrible storm. Rain and wind and huge waves pound the boat. The divers are quiet but really scared. They are sure the boat is going to sink and they are all going to die. At the height of the storm, a young woman jumps up and exclaims: "I can't take this anymore! I can't just sit here and drown like an animal. If I am going to die, let me die feeling like a woman. Is there anyone here man enough to make me feel like a woman?" One of the dive masters stands up – a tall, handsome, muscular man, he smiles and starts to walk up to her. As he approaches her, he takes off his shirt. She sees his huge muscles – already, she is glad for her decision. He stands in front of her, muscles bulging, shirt in hand and says to her: here, Iron this!"
View Funny Swimming and Diving Sports Joke

  Shipwrecked Diver
A diver was shipwrecked up onto a lonely and tropical shore. As he stood up he noticed his hands were purple, he looked at his feet and they were purple, worriedly he unzipped his wetsuit and his chest and stomach were purple. With his head in his hands he cried, "Oh my God!, I’ve been marooned!"
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