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THE TEN COMMANDMENTS OF CURLING
1. Thou shalt worship the lord thy skip with all thy heart and all thy soul. Thou shalt not taketh the name of thy skip in vain.
2. Thou shalt observe each curling day as a holy day. Six days shall ye toil, but on curling day thou shalt enter the House of Curling and partieth on.
3. Thou shalt not wear thy street shoes upon the surface of the ice. The skips must stone to death any infidel who bringeth unholy crap upon the ice.
4. Thou shalt not pass wind in the direction of thy opposing skip. If this ye doest, the penalty shall be death.
5. Thou shalt place thy skip's rock before the holy hack with the handle pointed in thy skip's preferred position.
6. Thou shalt not wear pants of outrageous design. If this ye doest, thy fellow curlers must heapeth scorn and insults upon thee.
7. Thou shalt not covet thy opponent's in-turn or out-turn. Neither covet thy foe's draw weight.
8. Thou shalt not hoggeth thy rock in the shoot-out. If this ye doest, ye must offer up a double round to appease the wrath of thy team-mates.
9. Thou shalt not let thy head swell with victory over thy betters. Woe unto he who does, for he shall come crashing rudely to the earth.
10. Thou shalt not heap blame upon the keepers of the ice for thy losses. Neither shall ye blame the makers of the rocks. Blame not thy team-mates, yet look inward to thyself for fault.
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