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Luis Suarez


What's Luis Suarez favorite food?

Ears


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Who shots Arrows?


The only one that shots arrows is an archer with poor aim. Good archers aim arrows. hahahahahaha


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Skiing Jokes


Listed below is a collection of Funny Skiing Sports Jokes, Jokes about Skiing. SportsJokeCafe.com has a large funny joke collection sorted by sport category


Funny Ski Photo
That must be an awkward place to land.
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Sand Skiing
Funny photo of skiers that practise even in the summer.
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  Preparation for Skiing
This is sent to remind skiers how to prepare for the ski season and to remind non-skiers why they do not ski. 10. Visit your local butcher and pay $30 to sit in the walk-in freezer for half an hour. Afterwards, burn two $50 dollar bills to warm up. 9. Go to the nearest hockey rink and walk across the ice 20 times in your ski boots carrying two pairs of skis, accessory bag and poles. Pretend you are looking for your car. 8. For ski boot simulation at home, put a pebble in your street shoes and tighten a C-clamp around your toes. 7. Buy a pair of gloves and immediately throw one away. 6. Go to McDonald's and insist on paying $6. 50 for a hamburger. Be sure to wait in the longest line. 5. Clip a lift ticket to the zipper of your jacket and ride a motorcycle fast enough to make the ticket lacerate your face. 4. Drive slowly for five hours - anywhere - as long as it's in a snowstorm and you're following an 18 wheeler. 3. Fill a blender with ice, hit the pulse button and let the spray blast your face. You'd almost believe you're skiing in front of a snowmaker! 2. Dress up in as many clothes as you can and then proceed to take them off because you have to go to the bathroom. 1. Repeat all of the above every Saturday and Sunday.
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  Broken Leg
On the first day of her vacation, a woman fell and broke her leg. As the doctor examined her, she moaned, "Why couldn't this have happened on my last day of skiing?" He looked up. "This IS your last day of skiing."
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  60 Year Old Man
A 60-year-old man went to the doctor for a check-up. The doctor told him, "You're in terrific shape. There's nothing wrong with you. Why, you might live forever. You have the body of a 35 year old. By the way, how old was your father when he died?" The 60 year old responded, "Who said he was dead?"The doctor was surprised and asked, "How old is he and is he very active?"The 60 year old responded, "Well, he is 82 years old and he still goes skiing three times a season and surfing three times a week during the summer."The doctor couldn't believe it. "Well, how old was your grandfather when he died?"The 60 year old responded again, "Who said he was dead?"The doctor was astonished. He said, "You mean to tell me you are 60 years old and both your father and your grandfather are alive? Is your grandfather very active?"The 60 year old said, "He goes skiing at least once a season and surfing once a week during the summer. Not only that," said the patient, "my grandfather is 106 years old, and next week he is getting married again."The doctor said, "At 106 years old, why on earth would your grandfather want to get married?"His patient looked up at the doctor and said, "Who said he wanted to?"
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  Skiing Surprise
A woman and her husband decided to go on a skiing trip one weekend. They rode the ski lift to the top of the mountain, and were preparing to go down. The woman suddenly announced that she needed to use the restroom, and NOW. Her husband told her that since the coast was clear, she could just hide behind a tree and go. Well, the woman had her pants down around her ankles when she suddenly began going down the mountain. She hit a tree on the way down and broke her leg and her arm and had several other bumps and bruises. When she awoke at the hospital, she was surprised to see another man who was dressed in a skiing outfit and also looked as if he had been in a skiing accident. The woman was very curious about this man, so she asked him what happen. You'll never believe it, he told her. I was just skiing down the mountain, and a woman went by with her pants around her ankles, and I crashed into a bush.
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