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What do masturbation and Billiards have in common?

Q: What do Billiards and masturbation have in common?

A: it's all about the stroke!

Luis Suarez

What's Luis Suarez favorite food?


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Funny Bowling Jokes

Listed below is a collection of Funny Bowling Sports Jokes, Jokes about Bowling. has a large funny joke collection sorted by sport category

Bowling Dogs
Dogs go bowling.
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Bowling Grannies
Bowling night at the old folks home.
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  Dave works hard at the plant
Dave works hard at the plant and spends two nights each week bowling and plays golf every Saturday. His wife thinks he's pushing himself too hard, so for his birthday she takes him to a local strip club. The doorman at the club greets them and says, "Hey, Dave! How ya doin?" His wife is puzzled and asks if he's been to this club before. "Oh no," says Dave. "He's on my bowling team." When they are seated, a waitress asks Dave if he'd like his usual and brings over a Budweiser. His wife is becoming increasingly uncomfortable and says, "How did she know that you drink Budweiser?" "I recognize her, she's the waitress from the golf club. I always have a bud at the end of the first nine, honey. A stripper then comes over to their table, throws her arms around Dave, starts to rub herself all over him and says, "Hi ! Davey. Want your usual table dance, big boy?" Dave's wife, now furious, grabs her purse and storms out of the club. Dave follows and spots her getting into a cab. Before she can slam the door, he jumps in beside her. Dave tries desperately to explain how the stripper must have mistaken him for someone else, but his wife is having none of it. She is screaming at him at the top of her lungs, calling him every 4 letter word in the book. The cabby turns around and says, "Geez Dave, you picked up a real ***** this time."
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  Thursday Classroom Question
Johnny's teacher tells her class, "Class, I'm going to ask you a question at 2.55pm every Thursday and whoever answers it correctly will be excused from school on Friday and can enjoy a three-day weekend." The students got really excited about this and were anxiously awaiting fro Thursday afternoon to arrive. On Thursday, at precisely 2.55 pm, the teacher addressed the class. " Students, this week's question is 'Who can tell me Pythagorean Theorem ?" After a long pause she said, "Well, I guess I'll see you all tomorrow." The teacher was teasing the childern. She always planned to ask question that no fifth grader could ever answer. Now Johnny was getting wise to the teacher's scam. The following Thursday, Johny brought to school both his parent's bowling balls. At 2.54, he rolled them down the aisle and they crased into the teacher's desk. The teacher jumped up, came around the front of the desk and yelled, "All right, who's the comedian with the big balls?" Johnny says, "Eddie Murphy! See you monday!
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  Tenpin Bowling one-liners
* Bowling is a sport that should be right down your alley. * If you can't hear a pin drop, then something is definitely wrong with your bowling. * Our small town used to have a bowling alley, but somebody stole the pin. * "Something is wrong with my bowling delivery," Tom said gutturally. * I'll never bowl with him again. After he got a strike, he spiked the ball. * If our town didn't have bowling, there'd be no culture at all. * I go bowling once every four years to make sure I still hate it.
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  Funny things to do at a Bowling Alley
* Everytime you throw exclaim "TAKE THAT, YOU!!!" continue this behavior until forcefully thrown out. * When ever a strike "X" appears on the screen, start yelling about how this is a Black Panther conspiracy. * Explain to the Owner how your game has been ruined due to Platetechtonics then loose him in lingo. Demand Compensation. * Bring Zippo fluid, light the pins on fire. * Wear Golf Shoes. * Pray to the pins, leave sacrifices. * Dress up like an amish man. Give speaches to others against the high technology used in bowling. * Play bocci with extra lane balls * Try to juggle the balls, when you drop them, start screaming about Platetechtonics again * Every ten minutes run the entire length of the building beating your own head and speaking in tounges, then sit down as if nothing happened. * Bring full angling gear, ask how they're * Completely cover your ball in duct tape (sticky side out) then loudly complain about how your hook is off. * Hide behind the pins. Stick your head up, LAUGHING HYSTERICALLY. * Use a Curling Weight instead, bring a full team of sweepers. * Throw refuse down the ball return, tell the owner the trash compactor is busted. * Make your prescence known by arranging pentagrams out of candles on every lane except yours. * Root for the other team- Bring Banners. * Make fun of your team- Bring Lettuce. * Tell the rival team captain that you just met his "little girl" walk away mumbling "how bad things happen" * Bring a foghorn, use at crucial moments * Even if you miss totally--At the top of your lungs scream STEEEEEEEEERIKE * Bring a small gold idol, demand the other team pray to it. * Rent all the lanes, don't bowl * Rent all the shoes, eat them * Blatenly Underscore yourself, then accuse the other team of cheating * When an opponent is on his backswing, race up and take his ball, run home. * If your team is in the finals, throw nothing but gutterballs, blame platetechtonics * Trip EVERY member of the opposing team, trip your team, trip everyone * Wear a baseball uniform, bowl sidearm. * SuperGlue Police Whistles to the hand-dryers...leave town * Walk around asking people why they are here, do this the whole night * Ask to use the house mic. Say you want to make an anoucement, expond on the sins of bowling * Name your ball something like "KILLER", Openly boast to everyone how great you are, bowl terribly. Do this all night * Sit in your lane and heckle others with a BullHorn. * Bring a dartgun...Be inventive. *Wrestle with your ball. (WWF Style) Ask someone to ref. *Run around sprinkling "MAGIC FAIRY DUST" on everyone's balls. Tar works nice. * Sponsor a Really Big Open Bowl Night, Dont even have a Entrance fee. Advertise it using Every Mass Media known to man, make the 3rd Prize: $10,000 and a Porshce 2nd Prize: $5,000 and a trip to Europe 1st Prize: A coffee mug Then sit back a watch the fights..... leave or Cancel the whole thing. * Hand out Pamphlets on Patetechtonics.
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